Friday, September 1, 2017

Nice


"Be nice!" How many times have you heard those two words spoken over a lifetime? What does nice mean anyway? And, if you are being nice not doing nice, isn't that just an assumed state of human interaction under the rubric of a golden rule which then doesn't necessitate reminding?

I remember clearly sitting around with friends in college on one of those evenings when time seemed limitless. Our identities were still forming and often deeply analyzed. We decided to choose one descriptive word that everyone thought embodied that person. I was devastated when my friends chose the adjective nice to describe me. I was incredulous. Really? How boring! Nice is innocuous but nondescript. Nice was like a neutral color that blended into the background -- a wallflower, of all things.

I have returned to the sting of that moment many times since and now maintain that one ought never call another person nice. You might describe a piece of clothing as nice by saying, "Nice pants." Or, a blind date, saying "We had a nice time," implying no one could pay you enough money to go out again with the guy you just ditched as quickly as humanly possible. Or, you might ask a boyfriend to sit down and talk and call it quits by beginning "You are a really nice guy, but...." Nice is subtle or sufficient or agreeable. You can even hear the dull and uninterested tone of voice when someone says nice try or nice day or nice to know.

In my estimation, daisies might be nice but nice is not the description of a person. Kind may be the description of an individual. People can be kind. And, upon reflection, I think my friends really were describing me as kind. And, I am not just saying that to make myself feel better, although kind does make feel better. I simply think that I have a tender heart for the human condition which can be so battered. I feel I exist to make people feel better, be better, live better. Kindness works towards the positive, the glass half full, the optimistic, at times naively so I'll admit. Still, I think I primarily approach the world with kindness.

Now, I will admit that a guy I liked in college the following year described me as charming, and charming almost wiped away the sting of nice and certainly sealed my infatuation at the time. I preferred to think of myself as charming rather than nice until I saw a small, enchanting clip of film from Humans of New York on Instagram yesterday. I have been a fan of Brandon Stanton's work for a long time, and he has released the first two episodes of a new series, including this clip which I have watched nearly a dozen times.

From now on, in my experience or point of view, I will try to live up to the descriptors of both charming and super nice. And, I suggest that you watch the HONY clip , too. Then, the next time I describe you or anyone else as super nice, you'll know exactly what I mean and smile deep down inside. It is all about how you view the world, friends. By my estimation, glass half full ain't half bad. In fact, it is super nice.