Monday, February 23, 2015

Delayed Gratification

Sometimes, it takes getting healthy again to realize how sick you were. Likewise, a good dose of sunshine also makes you realize how light deprived you were. Both were true for me the last few weeks, but I am finally back to my usual self and finding it so good to do a bit of writing, to put some of these disparate thoughts on the page.


I try very hard not to complain about winter, which I generally enjoy until the season digs in its heels. When the unrelenting cold and snow settle in, I cave after a while. Give me a variable winter any day with temperatures that bounce up and down, snow that falls and melts in short order, and days of clouds mixed with sun.

This winter and last year's version have tested me. In part, I think we find it hard to succomb to the uncontrollable and inevitable of the season in the modern era. It isn't simply the knowledge that the weather remains unbelievably gorgeous somewhere else, and anyone with a brain and the means is boarding a plane to hightail it to paradise. The digital age makes this all far too clear.

I also think that the demands on our lives in the modern era don't allow us to hibernate along with the other living things around us as we had evolutionarily done prior to the industrial revolution. As the farm slept, we slowed down and accomplished seasonal chores close to home, waiting to really jump into action with spring's arrival.

Now, the commute, the responsibilities, and the job remain usually farther afield than one's own home. This is even true for jobs that have a seasonality to them as is the case for my professor husband. The demands of the job now reach far beyond the lecture hall, and he could clone himself and still never come close to meeting the demands on his time.

As far as I can tell, winter is all about delayed gratification. Spring would certainly never be the most natural high I know, if it didn't follow on the heels of winter. So, I shouldn't be surprised that waking to a bit of sun peaking through the curtains over the bed this morning was amazing. Even the cardinal woke to sing in the grand old oak outside the window up in the highest branches, and no song ever sounded so sweet to my ears. I am encouraged to wait with each lengthening day for spring to arrive not on the calendar but with a bit of thaw right outside my door to draw me outside to breath in the awakening world,

Until then, I return to the kitchen, tending to my soul as I tend to those I love. I will brew a pot of a favorite herbal tea. I will put something in the slow cooker to warm our senses with the aromas of deeply satisfying savory food and spices which will meld together all day long and creep into every nook and cranny of NOLD by the time night falls. I will turn on the oven to bake an offering to the gods made of flour and sugar, knowing how truly fortunate I am.


For this can only be said by one, who stands warm and secure looking out into the dark as the temperatures drop and the wind begins to howl in the eaves once again. I never understood the layers of meaning within delayed gratification as I understand them right now in the fading light of this winter day.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Affection

“If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.” 
 W.H. Auden***



I finally refilled the bird feeder. I have been under the weather and failed to notice it was empty. How long? I have no idea, but I do know the songbirds will appreciate the seeds as the arctic air settles in this weekend. I have a deep affection for birds and feel terribly neglectful.


In fact, I believe that a gift for the birds in your area might be in order for Valentine's Day this year. Molded birdseed might fit the bill and make a great gift for the human recipients of your affection as well. "Let love take flight!" I say.


Begin with a small cake mold no more than three inches in diameter. If the mold is too large, it gets too heavy and won't hold up well when hung. Dissolve two 1/4-ounce packets of unflavored gelatin in 3/4 cup boiling water. Add four cups of good quality birdseed (mixed with dried fruit, if you like), and stir until well coated. Press the seed tightly into the mold, inserting a drinking straw all the way through the birdseed one inch from the top. 


Place your mold with straw in the refrigerator overnight before gently releasing from the mold. Let the birdseed mold air dry for several hours before trimming the straw and inserting jute string through it for the hanger. You can decorate the birdseed mold with bells or buttons or greenery, for example, and gift wrap it for giving. Or, simply hang the birdseed mold outside and wait for customers to come and dine -- they will appreciate the feast!


Please note: You may add cayenne pepper or chili oil to the birdseed and gelatin mixture as a squirrel deterrent. However, be sure to take care to not irritate skin or eyes, if you do so. 


***For a real treat, hear Auden read "The More Loving One" here.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Remarkable

Freddy's routine is reliable. He wakes with the radiators in the morning and bakes upon them on and off throughout the day such that he has dandruff all over his tail. He watches the clock and knows the time for breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner precisely. He loves to drink from the bathtub faucet so that we turn it on for him just right as we get ready for bed. He sleeps curled up next to me each night, waiting until I have put down my book and turned off the lights to settle in. If I move, he regroups, inching closer again to my legs for we must touch.
Freddy loves to play with a pompom or a piece of string. He has a fetish for boxes and baskets and bags. He takes great pride in stalking prey whether a bug that has invaded NOLD or any form of wildlife outside the windows and doors. Such a sighting causes his tail to twitch and growls to emanate from deep down in his throat. In the summer, the neighbor cats often come to taunt him through the screens for he is an indoor cat, one who must enter a closed door as soon as it is opened to inspect and insure that all is well.
A rescue cat, Freddy has a fear of strangers, particularly men with loud, deep voices. As soon as the doorbell rings, Freddy makes a mad dash for the basement, where he has a secret hiding place within the far reaches of the crawl space beneath NOLD. Yet, Freddy never fails to snuggle my girls with an abiding affection, reminding me this is just how he chose us at the SPCA almost eight years ago.
What I find most remarkable of all is this: Freddy believes the sun shines for him. No matter how hot the day, Freddy will stretch out or curl up in a swath of sunshine and sleep for hours. His fur glistens. When you pet him, he is hot beneath your touch and his eyes close in complete contentment and comfort. 
Freddy reminds me to appreciate an ordinary day and to note the most reliable and remarkable of all events, the rising and setting of the sun. Its light and warmth remain my most constant companion on a snow-filled day in early February such as this.

The Cats
Ann Iverson

To find such glory in a dehydrated pea
on the tile between the stove and fridge.

To toss the needs of others aside
when you simply aren't in the mood for affection.

To find yourselves so irresistible.

And always in a small spot of sun,
you sprawl and spread out the pleasure of yourselves

never fretting, never wanting to go back
to erase your few decisions.

To find yourself so remarkable
all the day long. 

Monday, February 2, 2015

Chatter

I walked abroad in a snowy day;
I asked the soft snow with me to play…

William Blake

Today is a snow day, a play day, a day with an excuse to slow down. A day to putter about in our pajamas, if we like with no agenda or a moving agenda or an agenda of our very own design from top to bottom. A day to sip slowly hot drinks like hot cocoa, steaming peppermint tea, and hot cider. A day to watch a favorite movie or read a good book from cover to cover while under the covers, a favorite down comforter in bed or a wool throw on the couch. A day to get lost in a world as fantastic as the falling snow outside NOLD as night approaches, snowflakes catching the flash to sparkle like magic stardust. A day to dream and mingle with one's thoughts for a few extra minutes with the encouragement of the surrounding quiet. 
Winter seems to be digging in its heels as is typical for February in the Northeast. I swing from feeling tired of the darkness, the cold, the muck, the gear, the day-in-day-out effort and feeling grateful for the beauty, the fresh air, the stillness, the slowness, the seasonal cycle that prepares nature to burst forth and bring forth in short order. I will muddle through awash in ideas and words and hope. Even in the midst of a snowstorm, The Little Free Library soldiers on and poetry bursts forth with pen in hand, a haiku the gift:

flurries fall daily
air alight in thick stillness
my thoughts chatter on